ReFrame ReEntry

“When we think of borders we picture edges, margins, dividing lines between countries,” said Julie Resnick, an intercultural consultant who, along with photographer and media consultant Joni Kabana, conceived the ReFrame ReEntry project with Mercy Corps Northwest.

“What if one of those countries was a prison?  What is it like to cross that border back into the community; from the inside to the outside?  This photovoice project documents personal journeys of transition and reentry post incarceration.”

The methodology called Photovoice enables those that are normally the subjects of documentary photography to become the creators. It often gives voice to marginalized communities and can act as a vehicle of social change. The concept was originated by researchers in the Yunan Province of China in 1992 enabling rural women to influence the policies and programs that affected them.

Resnick and Kabana act as advisors to Mercy Corps Northwest on the photovoice project but more importantly as mentors to the women leaving Coffee Creek Correctional Facility, the State of Oregon’s women’s prison.

“I had a feeling that using the camera would delight the women but it is astonishing to see the therapeutic value that takes place while they photograph the world around them,” said Kabana. “They are able to explore all of the feeling that came up when faced with leaps in technology, chaotic bus rides and family interactions in a way that talking could not express.”

The women share their journal writing and return their cameras to Mercy Corps Northwest after thirty days.  Resnick and Kabana offer weekly coaching during the time the women have the cameras.  The cameras are then rotated to the next women leaving incarceration in a community arrangement created and agreed to by the women in Mercy Corps Northwest’s LIFE program.

Michelle

A Day in the Life of One Coffee Creek Inmate

Everyone’s day is different. Each person deals with stress and depression in their own individual way. Many inmates choose to attempt to sleep their time away. My approach to coping with the insufferable situation of living in a large barn with 128 other women was of course my own personal Journey.

I woke up at 5:00 am every morning. This is the quietest and least active time of the day. Those who are awake are getting ready to go to work, or go to breakfast at 6:15am. At 5:30 am when the dayroom opened I was on my yoga mat, doing my morning yoga ritual. I do believe this was one of the things that made my time more bearable, an hour and 15minutes on the mat and then time to change clothes, clean my little area between my bed and my locker and go to work.

By 7:00 am everyone is required to be inspection ready. You can remain on your bed, but it must be made, and you must be dressed. Many would stay on their bed under their top blanket and sleep until 11:05 am count, at which time everyone in the facility must sit up and be counted. After count, lunch begins to be called by dorm.

I was fortunate to have a job in the Physical Plant. At 7:15 the van would arrive to take the physical plant employees off of the compound and out to the physical plant facility. We would be counted at 11:05 while we were doing our jobs. I worked in Carpentry shop and in the office. My job was a very nice break from the monotony of life in the dorm. In the carpentry shop I operated the Laser Engraver and created signage and awards for the facility as well as a myriad of other various tasks. In the Office I entered the work orders into the physical plant work order database, so the work orders could be tracked. I also performed several other clerical duties such as, creating documents, revising the count sheets and cleaning schedule and also cleaning the office 3 days a week and emptying the trash daily.

At 3:00pm the van would take us back to the facility and I would have an hour and a half to get my laundry done take a walk and chat with my friends before 4:30pm count time. After count cleared I generally would rush up to the officer’s podium to get my favorite exercise DVD, most of the time I opted out of dinner in the chow hall and exercised instead. The food in the Chow hall generally made me feel sick to my stomach due to the large amounts of grease. Sometimes I would go to the chow hall if I signed up for a veggie tray. Veggie trays are always the same the only variation is the type of pre-made salad i.e. Cole slaw, potato salad, bean salad. The Veggie tray consists of rice, beans, carrot and celery sticks, a radish, a green onion, raw cauliflower, raw broccoli and sometimes a slice of Jicama, and an over cooked vegetable. Every meal is served with the option of a piece of “fresh fruit”, although the freshness of the fruit is often debatable. Dinner is always served with some sort of dessert or you can opt for fresh fruit the fruit is always an apple, orange or once a week a banana. On Saturday morning a grapefruit half is served with a pastry and a boiled egg. That is the only breakfast I ever went to, and I only went rarely. I ate my sack lunch at work and tried to stay out of the Chow hall, as my stomach was much more agreeable with that arrangement.

The winter months in the dorm were the worst, between October and April night yard is closed. This means everyone is cooped up in the dorm all evening long. The only thing that helped me to survive these long evening months was the classes and call outs that I kept myself busy with. On Tuesday night I had yoga, Wednesday quilting, Thursday Yoga and Friday Qigong.

Thank goodness for the many dedicated volunteers who bring us these various classes and programs. Almost every moment of every day is planned out for you. The routine never changes. All of your decisions are made for you. You see the same walls the same people the same scenery day in and day out for years on end. It is monotonous and can be depressing. You never have any time alone and no privacy what so ever. The stress of living with so many other people in such close proximity is very intense. Tension is high and tempers flare often.

You are separated from your families and the people you love and you feel guilt for causing them undue anguish for your mistakes. You can not help but dwell on the future and the past. Many people are on prescribed medications to help them deal with their situation. The existence is one of sensory deprivation for things that bring pleasure and sensory overload for things that cause irritation.

When I was released everything was so overwhelming, the trees, cars, buildings, food. It was hard to focus on anything.

I felt like every sight was a new experience. I got motion sickness riding in cars. I became teary eyed when I spent time with my family because it was so wonderful to be able to hug them and spend quality time with them. I am still to this day produce obsessed. It is hard for me to go to the grocery store and not buy pears, mangoes, avocados, berries or tomatoes. There are so many beautiful things to see.

So when I began taking pictures for the photo journal project it was hard for me to pinpoint exactly what it was about each photo that was significant. It was all significant after 6 and a half years of deprivation. The colors in the night sky and the feel of wind on my face when I ride my bicycle are incredible. Using the public transit system, yes riding the bus is exhilarating. I am the happiest person on the bus or the train the only one with the grin of idiot delight. The photos represent all of the wonderful things that I am experiencing, as if for the first time with the wonder and appreciation of a child. I hope that my photos can better explain the process of transition and help others to understand what it is like to regain your freedom and rebuild your life. I am so grateful to have a second chance.

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Heidi

I’m finding after 5 sleepless nites + days that the only thing saving my butt are sweet spirits and those fleeting moments. It’s what is keeping me connected–

I can’t wait to find normal – It’s day 9 and sleep is now and hit and miss. I stand outside every morning at 8:30am waiting to get a slot in Tx. I walk the gottlet dodging the homeless and puke to get there, I hit a NA meeting at 7am to kill to birds. So I’m on the street by 6:30 every morning. I’m glad it’s approaching spring.

I slept last nite – that’s a big deal – saw my PO after my NA meeting at 7:00am – that’s a easy reach. I’m use to early. It’s day 12 and I’m still tring to make the shoe box I live in doable.

It’s a 30’s flop house 2 bits a night try not to get shanghaied – I like it, I do, for a cell it’s the best one I’ve ever been in – no cellie, a window, small fridg, but in prison I didn’t have stuff every thing in prison has limits like 3 pairs of pants, 4 shirts, 4 pair of underwear, no dishes, it all must fit in a box. I have stuff in here it adds to being overwelmed – I don’t know how to organize and it looks like a quantum physics test. Calling einstein for some order in the universe.

The most asked question do you love being free. I’m polite and go with everyday’s a holliday every meal’s a banquet and everyone’s a star. But really, I’m not ok. In prison it a house of pain and suffering but truth is I’m not ok out here either.

Everyone has built lives and relationships. I’m 51 and I’m lost. It’s so visually stimulating I can barely taste the food I’ve waited over a decade to eat.

I know everything will take time – “take time” wow are those two words meaningful.

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Tanya

11-25 My first day out and I’m running on pure adrenaline. Everything is bright, colorful, and simply overwhelming. I’m not sure what to do with myself. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. At the apartment my friends Tammy and Jodie have boxes of stuff for me. Clothes, slippers, nail polish (I can’t wait to paint my toenails) candy, quilting books, and more. It feels strange all this activity and celebrating.  All I really want to do is hide. So far, my favorites are the Pepsi, nail polish and slippers.  Devin made me a steak for dinner. It was fantastic. But now I’m starting to feel like I need to get back. Any minute now they are going to tell me it was a mistake and I need to go back to prison.

11-26 I couldn’t figure out why it felt so weird to eat. It was awkward. Then I realized how heavy my fork was. I have only used plastic ones for eight years.

12/15 Today I took a picture of my old phone. I found it in a box of things my father saved for me. It is nine years old. I laid it on the counter next to my new phone and took a picture. It just reminds me how much has changed in that amount of time. Things are so different now. It used to be rare and real expensive to have a cell phone. Now it’d be considered strange and behind the times not to have one. There is so much I’ve missed. I’m also reminded of a better time long ago before prison, before I became a felon. I wish I could go back.

12-16 Today I spent the day with my best friend. We went to the beauty supply store and bought all we need to dye her hair. I have my hair license. But the only place I’ve done hair is in prison. Now I felt like I was breaking a rule or something. I felt like I would get in trouble. Her hair turned out great and we laughed a lot. God I hope I can feel normal soon. Not like someone is watching me.

12-29 Today it snowed! It snowed like crazy. It was my first free snow. My friend and I acted like children. We stomped in it, threw it, laid in it and tipped out heads back to eat it as it fell from the sky. I was mesmerized adn hot it changed the appearance of everything. The last snow I saw was in prison. I tink snow is the only thing that won’t stick to barbed wire. The prison was still ugly even covered in white. But this. This was beautiful. Tammy and I took pictures like we wanted to freeze every frame in our hearts. For some reason, I was struck by the sound of our feet crunching in the snow. We were free and for the first time I felt like it. It made me want to touch everything. I wanted to breathe in the moments and just live.

1-14 Today I went to “Dress For Success”. The lady brought me outfit after outfit to try on. I chose some pieces I could mix and match, shoes, a purse, earrings and an overcoat. It was very strange to receive these things for free. I wanted to get out of there before I got arrested for stealing or something. I’m very grateful. This trip took me on the East side of the river. That’s the farthest I’ve been from home on my own. The Max ride was ok but I didn’t relax until I got closer to home. I don’t remember ever feeling this way. I used to hop in the car and take off to S. California to see family. It felt natural to just go wherever I wanted. Now I feel out of sorts and like I’ve done something bad.

1-23 I need to get a job. It seems like society is not only hard on felons but extra hard on women. I know several men who got out of prison and got jobs right away. But the women I know (myself included) are still looking for work. The men also seem to be able to rent apartments faster. It took my friend Tammy a year to find a place that would rent to her. I wonder if society thinks we will be provided for because we are women or if they are less forgiving because we were good girls gone bad.  Neither is true.

1-24 Today I finished a project I’d been putting off. I finished going through boxes of Harmony’s belongings. I was OK at first until I came across a box with her favorite blankets and dolls. Then I lost it. I clutched that doll to my chest as it it were my daughter and someone was going to take her from me. I couldn’t put it down. I ran my hand over its face and hair. I straightened its dress and clung to it more as I wept. I have no idea how much time passed. It felt like days. I forced my tears aside and kept sorting. I’d thought the worst was over until I found the book. Harmony’s friends at school and the teachers had a memorial for her. They put together a book for me of pictures the children had drawn about Harmony, how they felt and ow they missed her. There in front of me were pages and pages of drawings of a little blond girl on the swings. The drawing said things like: you were my friend, you pushed me on the swings, I miss you, why did you have to die, you are in heaven now…I thought I was going to die.

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